It has been almost 23 years since Suzanne Sheppard walked away from an abusive marriage. What followed was a long and difficult process of rebuilding her life, learning some hard lessons along the way.
Sheppard, Business News Editor at the T&T Guardian and a veteran journalist with more than 35 years of experience, has spent much of the time since then sharing her story and counselling other women who have been in abusive relationships.
Starting with her own first person account published in a daily newspaper almost two decades ago, she has been telling the story about her liberation from domestic abuse and has given numerous radio and television interviews over the years.
One was with Marcia Henville, the popular media personality who died in very brutal circumstances in February 2015.
“Marcia was a friend,” Sheppard recalled. “We worked together at another daily newspaper at about the time when I had just left my abusive marriage. She was a firsthand witness to my struggles to get my life back.”
She said it was one of the most painful experiences of her life to stand and see her former colleague in a coffin.
Until then, she said, she had never been officially involved in any campaigns against domestic violence.
“I am a full-time journalist and three of my four children are still at school. People would come to me and as much as I could I would provide a listening ear, share my experiences, but it was all very informal,” she said.
“However, I never lost my passion for that cause. I was very concerned that every few months or years we would have these spikes where they would be all sorts of stories about women being battered and even killed because of domestic violence.”
Sheppard said her determination to do more was triggered by Henville’s death. The result is Beauty For Ashes, a unique, new ministry for victims of abuse—not just battered women but abused men, children, and even the elderly.
“We have to stop being so reactionary. Whenever there is a major incident that grabs headlines or goes viral on Facebook there is suddenly a lot of alarm being expressed a lot of hand wringing and pointing of fingers. Then it dies down and we’re back to square one.”
Sheppard said while there are more resources available to abused people now than there were when she was trapped in her own abusive situation, there is still an alarming disconnect between those resources and the people who need them the most. She is also perturbed about the misinformation that continues to be spread about the issue.
Beauty for Ashes is aimed at raising awareness and connecting victims and their families to support systems and services.
“What I bring to the table is my own experience of abuse, as well as my communication skills. This ministry will be keeping information about abuse constantly out there, using various media to constantly reinforce the message that abuse is wrong and it is possible to get out of these kinds of situations.”
Beauty for Ashes, which was officially launched on Thursday evening at Victory Christian Outreach Church (VCOC) in Belmont, will be using creative expressions, including music, dance, the spoken word and drama, to raise awareness.
The launch was done under the auspices of Daughters of Zion, VCOC’s women’s ministry.
“This is about creating a space for healing and restoration,” she said.
Sheppard plans to take the initiative to churches, communities, schools and other places, keeping the conversation going on domestic abuse.
The idea, she explained, is not only to enlighten victims and others about abuse but also to promote positive messages about healthy relationships, problem solving and anger management.
Sheppard said she wants to reach out to children at the primary and secondary levels, to prevent them from growing up to become abusers or victims.
In addition to the performances, information packages will be distributed. Sheppard is putting the finishing touches on a booklet, a simple, easy-to-read publication with information on forms of abuse, where to get help. She will also be putting together a call card with contact numbers for the various agencies and services for victims of abuse.
At Thursday’s launch, guests got an insight into the ministry being offered by Beauty for Ashes. A dramatic presentation, written and directed by Camika Carter and featuring a cast from VCOC’s Special Arts Department, dealt with the issue of incest. Carter also did a spoken word performance and gave her testimony of her own experience of domestic abuse.
Sheppard’s husband, former National Calypso Monarch DeLamo (Franz Lambkin), performed Get Away, the theme song for the Beauty for Ashes initiative.
Also featured on the programme, were radio personality Nicole Larsen of ISAAC 98.1 FM, who served as MC, Apostle Terrance Honore, and motivational speaker and newspaper columnist AP Toussaint.
“I moved on from my abusive marriage a long time ago,” said Sheppard, “but it is difficult to stay silent and sit on the sidelines while people are being battered and killed.
“Domestic abuse thrives in shame and secrecy. Keeping up a constant flow of information, keeping the conversation going and the issue in the spotlight will help some to get out and others from getting into abusive situations.”
Know the signs, look out for more on domestic violence in your Sunday Guardian next week.